3 Ways to Slow Down Your Life and Fall in Love
The final step in breaking the vicious love circle might just feel like the most daunting one of all.
‘Busyness’ can so often seem like the most real thing in the world, especially if you’re a successful business woman who works in a corporate environment. You have a lot of responsibility and things to get done, and it seems impossible, with all your scheduled appointments and meetings, to have any time away from it all.
Plus, it feels counterintuitive, slowing down, considering you’ve worked so hard to get where you are today. You’re used to this fast-paced approach to life, to proving your worth by doing and achieving what comes your way.
But if you don’t take the time to practice a slower pace of life, you’ll never be able to keep up the previous steps I’ve talked about and break the vicious love circle for good. Even if you manage to break through and rediscover yourself or let go of some love blocks, slowing down is key to making sure you stick to these steps, transform your life and truly fall in love.
But what does ‘being busy’ have to do with falling in love?
I’ve discussed the busy life of a high-achieving business woman on my blog before, but not specifically in the context of love.
It gives you space to deal with your feelings
Firstly, slowing down your life brings more opportunities for you to reflect on your emotions. Everytime you take time and space to yourself, you hear your thoughts more, instead of all the voices of people around you asking you to do stuff. This is your voice, pushing through and telling you how you really feel, and that can be hard to hear sometimes.
A lot of business women keep themselves busy with work for this exact reason - they don’t want to hear their real voice, because that real voice is dealing with real emotions that are too painful for them to handle. Relationships involve feelings, but keeping busy is a way to push past negative experiences with love to the back of your mind.
Because you aren’t hearing the emotions attached to these experiences, you aren’t dealing with them either. And that’s when they build and build to form love blocks inside of you. If you don’t slow down and listen to your own thoughts, then you won’t be able to push through love blocks, which is a vital step in breaking the vicious love circle.
You might even put yourself at risk of developing more love blocks in the future, and reforming the vicious love circle, if you don’t adopt a slower pace of life.
But it’s not just about past feelings and experiences; slowing down also provides you with the time and space to think about who you really are, to cultivate absolute self-awareness and reconnect with the real you.
It makes you more self-aware
As in previous posts, I believe self-awareness is key to breaking the vicious love circle and slowing down helps you to put this step into practice. Understanding yourself helps you to understand your likes and dislikes, your values and beliefs, which you need to define before you even think about transforming your life and falling in love.
When we are so busy, we become too focused on external events and not what is happening inside of us. This means a lot of high-achieving business women ‘lose’ themselves in their job, and if they don’t slow down, they end up living a life that doesn’t feel like theirs at all.
Slowing down makes way for the real you. It gives you time and space to reconnect to your true self, the woman outside of your successful corporate role, and bring her out to shine.
In terms of love, self-awareness means you are assertive about what you want in a relationship. You start seeing men that align with your real values and bring your true self out even more, and soon you attract the right man that will make you happy. Because you took the time to slow down and understand what you want, you enter a relationship that truly makes your heart sing and notice the beauty of the world around you.
It allows you to live life to the full and fall in love
Which brings me onto my last point. Slowing down allows you to be more present in your life and in love, which means you end up enjoying it more!
Instead of racing through each day and ticking off the points on your to-do list, you take moments to breathe and appreciate your surroundings, the people in it and the life you have built. Little moments transform into the most wondrous events, and you begin to smile more, seeing the happiness, contentment and fulfilment in your life that used to pass by unnoticed. You start to attract more of these things and over time, your life becomes the one you always dreamed of, the one you are fully living with the most incredible man by your side.
So how can I slow down?
Slowing down your life can seem like a terrifying thing, especially if you’re a successful woman in the corporate world. But trust me, the whole concept of ‘being busy’ comes from your ‘success’ mindset, which equates your self-worth with how much you are able to achieve.
It might feel like your days whizz by without you even noticing, but you do have the power to make decisions about how you choose to spend your time and now it’s your chance to take back control!
Before I divulge some secret steps, please note that slowing down is a practice that works best if you apply it slowly. Simply dropping everything you are doing and taking a weeklong break in the Bahamas sounds nice, but it doesn’t get you to the root cause of the issue or present a life you can realistically lead for the rest of your days.
It’s all about finding a balance between ‘doing’ and ‘being’ and appreciating even the smallest moments you get to yourself.
3 tips for slowing down so you can fall in love
1. The ‘one-minute’ technique.
This is a small and simple trick you can apply throughout your day to make sure you are checking back in with your feelings and being more present with yourself. It can even be done in your lunch break at work, it’s that quick! All you have to do is head to a quiet space, maybe outside, and ask yourself these 3 questions: How do I feel right now? What am I thinking right now? Why do I feel and think that?
I suggest writing them down on a piece of paper if your mind is racing from the day’s events. Over time, this simple moment of self-reflection will start to become a habit and you’ll get more and more used to tapping into your thoughts and feelings.
2. Do something spontaneous.
Because your whole life runs to a schedule (even if you slow down, you’re probably still planning what you’re doing), try closing your diary and leaving a chunk of time, perhaps an evening or a weekend, free of any plans. When it comes to that point you’ve left unscheduled, see how you are feeling and do exactly what you want.
It sounds simple, but this can sometimes be the scariest step in the slowing down process. If you’re so used to knowing what is coming next, releasing control and following your intuition can feel terrifying. But once you do, you’ll finally start to understand yourself and connect to the real you.
Spontaneity is also key in a relationship. Love is a completely natural, uncontrollable force that makes you fall head over heels for someone, so if you try too hard to control things, then you might be holding yourself back from true love. Even if you are in a relationship with the right man, a lack of spontaneous dates and activities could jeopardize it, as your relationship runs the risk of falling into a routine lacking passion. A sprinkling of spontaneity is key to keeping the spark alive.
3. The ‘SOS’ method.
Sunday is your chance to relax, recharge and replenish your energy levels before you start another busy week. That’s why it’s imperative you switch off ALL technology, emails and any other triggers that might link your mind back to work.
‘Switch Off Sunday’ is a great rule because it gives you a clear window of opportunity for YOU time and little room for error. Plus once you do it a few times, you’ll soon develop a whole new routine, where Sunday becomes your default day of rest and not just a manic end to another busy week.
It’s habits like this that create space in your life for sustainable and transformative life changes to happen. Once you get used to having time for yourself and connecting to your true thoughts and feelings, you’ll be able to implement all the steps I have discussed that will help you break the vicious love circle for good.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey towards true happiness, fulfilment and a loving man by your side. If you want any more help from me along the way, then please get in touch for coaching.